It’s been a long time without writing on my blog, mainly because a part of me asked me to make it even more personal and merged “Coach topics” with “job counseling” (which is is my strong point). And here I am gutting myself. Today I want to write about uncertainty, especially in this world of “guided certainty”. A world where we are born and right after our goals are set: this child will be a doctor, this child will be an architect, always what your parents want you to be. And keep turning the wheel of the world as you quickly grow and define yourself. then you begin to achieve your goals, you just studied or started working and you continue to set your own new goals. Everything is planned and predicted. And … at some point in our lives, which is usually around 40, we stop, slow down and think. And then it is when our own train runs over us and the crisis arrives. That mid-life crisis of the 40’s: you do not know where you are going because you have followed roads too firm or you have not been able to straighten them or things which drove you there and at the time you liked them and now no longer. But the train has done its job and it has brought you to where you are but it has also classified you, labeled it, reified it. You are now your professional title. Uff … it hurts me to write this. I always say I am much more than what you put on my card. There are many Miguels inside me and they all want to express themselves.
I personally, (I love to talk about myself, I’m sorry), I feel many times victim of my own goals, victim of myself. There is always a Miguel who complains about another Miguel who also wants to express himself. I always say that I am so complicated and demanding that I can not sometimes stand myself. But let’s go away from the subject. Since I am 45 years old I can say it, I no longer find satisfaction to achieve the objectives. It gives me much more satisfaction to write this article for my blog, you would have to see my face on a plane writing this, allowing the sensitive Miguel speak . Because in this moment there is a connection with myself. I want to claim in this article that is it possible and needed to unite the uncertainty that causes us to stop to think and get off the train with that personal connection. I claim to leave the work closet and explore other worlds. Exploring is a magical and wonderful word. Walking through the jungle of yourself and your circumstances exploring in order to know better yourself, but also in order to know better the others.
I strongly think that Success comes from people using their empathy, from the people who always connect with themselves. When I have helped executives with Coach or job counseling, I have always seen them all as very sensitive people, very aware of their impact on others. The executive world exposes a lot to other people, it also exposes a lot to other people egos. And it often forces them to put up barriers. Nevertheless there is a profile of people who are able to open and close these barriers at certain times and with ease to their convenience and with the intention to be more empathic with their teams, customers, etc…. But above all they are people with a high level of self-knowledge and self-confidence. They is a two magical competences alliance: self-knowledge and self-confidence.
Yes, I do think that everything is possible. You just have to grow personally step by step and believe in you. It is about climbing the vertical ladder of success and the lateral ladder of personal knowledge, sometimes you can climb diagonally, but if you can not, do not worry. That do not worry too much is a powerful statement: At every moment in time be aware of small successes at work or personal and everything flows until success comes one day, which is for me being good with yourself and with others.
Continuing with the theme of relaxing in life to achieve personal success, I want to return to the subject of uncertainty. For me the uncertainty is “here and now”. It is the wonderful listening 360º of Coach, the highest consciousness. To live in this moment, not to think, not to plan, is to be writing this and to consider myself, in my maximum egocentrism. Miguel “What do you feel about this? It satisfies you? Is it what you want to write?” “Do you want to keep writing or do we leave it?”. Can you imagine yourself at work stopping and asking yourself if it is the right thing, … do you like what you are doing? …etc… Well, you can start now.
I strongly recommend the norm of repeating oneself “it’s OK, Nothing happens”, I apply it many times. In the middle of a conflict, in the middle of a problem to think. I’m going to do what I have to do. And if I do not achieve success, nothing happens, I will learn something. You do not know how my pressure cooker deflated that day that I said, nothing happens if you do not do this perfect or you get a success. They educate us for success but not for failure. And let’s be honest, we can not all succeed. But you can contribute your grain of sand to this complex world.
Trying to close this post so open …. We must grow: grow as people as human beings and for this we have to connect with ourselves, our values, apply them in our day to day, be good with what we do and say. And although sometimes we can not change what happens; yes we can relativize it and say “It’s okay”, “It’s not my problem or not my fault”. “that will not affect me.” The power of the here of now: “This is happening to me and it’s fine, tomorrow will be something else, today is this”. Let’s leave this post open … is not it wonderful to leave things open to give them continuity?